Dreams
Crisp air
inhaled.
A sweet scent,
teasing in the breeze.
Warm bread,
melting in my mouth.
Tangy, sweetness
like a faint memory.
Forests,
chilled by wind.
Snow,
a common sight.
Soft clouds support me
as I fly.
Cool water
with a warm embrace.
A butterflies gentle “swish”,
keeps me there.
Content sighs,
fill the air.
Goal
Swift as a deer.
Checkered as a board.
flying
flying
Sweet like soap.
Salty as sand.
falling
falling
Hot as rice.
Cool as ice.
running
running
Strike like a python.
Strong as oak.
soaring
soaring
Fly.
Fall.
Run.
Soar.
SCORE
The Mile Dance
2,4,6,8 go!
Slow your pace.
Stay in sync.
Follow the path.
Pink shoes sweep the floor.
Up a hill,
with delicate strides.
Mouth dry.
The beat,
louder and louder.
Rhythm
rising.
Last steps,
Fast,
Faster,
Faster!
Last.
Moment.
On.
Stage.
Leap,
finish and hold.
Stand,
hear the crowd “roar”.
Your use of onomatopoeia is great, it really makes the reader feel like they are there along with you! It also made me connect with the feeling of a achievement. Why did you choose these topics for a poem?
ReplyDeleteI love you goal poem Alyssa!, I can really picture the seen of you scoring the goal. I love your repetition in your poem because it brings out the emotion of the goal. Good job!
ReplyDeleteWow Alyssa! I am really impressed with these poems! I really enjoyed the Goal poem! It showed how you have a strong passion for soccer/sports and I really liked the metaphor " Strike like a python" because it was very descriptive and strong! Great job!
ReplyDeleteAlyssa,
ReplyDeleteI love your poems ! I really liked how you kept your thoughts short and sweet so we are really engrossed into the energy of the poem. My favourite poem of yours is dreams. This is because there are so many images which make me feel like I am flying as "Soft clouds support me" to a legendary place called dream land. The mood of your poem was up beat, and magical I think it is because of the rhythm you kept throughout the piece. I also like how at the end you used rhyme, which makes a perfect ending to the piece. " there with air"
Amazing writing!
Wow! Alyssa, your poems are amazing. I particularly liked your first one in which you definitely use your sensory details to describe how a dream tastes, feels, smells, etc. I also noted your use of similes and metaphors throughout. All three were incredibly well written. Excellent work!
ReplyDeleteAll your poems were really great, especially the first one. You used your senses to help make the poem come alive. Your word choice helped settle the mood, hinting at the delicacy of dreams. The way you shaped your poem really added to the whole affect, and overall it was really good.
ReplyDeleteHi Alyssa! It's me ur Plunger/Glasses Buddy! (Jessica for short)
ReplyDeleteI really like your fist poem the best. I liked how much detail went into this poem. you should do ur speech thingy on the fist one.
"Crisp air inhaled" Now I have a craving for apples. Thanks a lot.